


Voulez-Vous?

by nerdyscully (dalecooperscoffee)



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M, Out of Character, Slightly - Freeform, this is the most self indulgent thing i've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 19:59:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16374083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dalecooperscoffee/pseuds/nerdyscully
Summary: Due to a misunderstanding, Gob starts taking a French class to impress Tony. A very self-indulgent little fic.





	Voulez-Vous?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TopherIsATribble](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopherIsATribble/gifts).



> i had to dedicate this work to Topher since he was the one who came up with the idea. thank you for that! 
> 
> i kind of have a fascination with will arnett speaking french. he's done it in a few interviews and as a french major i always find it endearing. so at some point i had to write a fic about gob speaking french despite the fact that it's pretty OOC for him. this fic does not have much substance so if you are looking for that i would not recommend this. i'll write something serious soon, i promise!

Gob didn’t _need_ to impress Tony. He knew that. He knew he was great. If anything, Tony would have to impress _him._ But still, there was that nagging feeling that he wasn’t doing enough. Of what, he wasn’t sure, but since Tony was such a big name, he felt like he had to measure up to that. Gob wouldn’t admit his need to impress his boyfriend to anyone; him and Tony had only been officially together for two months. It was way too early to be so emotionally open.

Gob was in the model home, flicking through the newspaper. Usually he read the comics or the ads. He raised an eyebrow when he saw an advertisement that displayed the words “Improve your French skills!”. Gob, being who he was, assumed that they meant “improve your French [kissing] skills”. He pondered it for a minute. He knew his French kissing wasn’t _bad_ , per se, but to impress Tony...he would be willing to take some Frenching lessons. They were at the Newport community college, which was kind of lame, but oh well. At least they weren’t early in the morning.

* * *

 

A few days later, Gob, following directions on his phone, made his way to the community college. He had even signed up for the class online, which was pretty impressive for him because he didn’t really understand the internet. He arrived just on time. He felt a little awkward, aside from a few middle aged women, he was the only man his age in the classroom. Of course all these college students wanted to improve their kissing. They were young and dumb. But Gob assumed he looked young enough to not stand out too much.

He sat down in the middle of the class, listening to the shuffle of kids taking out notebooks and pencils. He scoffed internally. He didn’t need to take notes on this. He just needed a refresher, was all. The professor walked in, a lanky woman with long hair and flowy clothes.

And then she started speaking in another language.

Gob rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He looked around, and the other students looked pretty worried too. The professor laughed. “Hello. I know you couldn’t understand anything, but by the end of the term, I’m sure you will be able to! I’m Madame Caron,” she wrote her name on the board, “and I assume you’re all here for Beginning French, yes? No one is in the wrong room?” She had a heavily accented voice--she was obviously not a native English speaker.

Gob covered his face with his hands. Of course this was a _French_ class. As in the French language. It wasn’t a French kissing class. What college gave French kissing classes? And now he had paid to be in a class for a language he had no knowledge of.

“ _Alors._ I will take role.” Madame Caron said. “When I call your name, I would like you to say _Bonjour, je m'appelle_ ...and then your name. _Vous comprenez?_ Okay.”

As she called names and people stumbled over a basic French greeting, Gob realized that French was a pretty romantic language. This would be an even better way to impress Tony. Plus, it showed that he was dedicated. A grin spread across his face. He had _great_ ideas. Even when they didn’t turn out the way he originally planned.

“George?” Madame Caron called. No one responded. “George Bluth?”

“Oh. Um. Call me Gob.”

“ _En français, s’il vous plaît,_ ” she scolded gently.

“Uh... _Bonjour. J-Je m'appelle...Gob?”_

“ _Très bien,_ Gob.” She said, then continued to call out names. Gob was quite proud of himself. By the end of this six week course, he’d be practically fluent (or so he thought).

* * *

 

 

Gob had been going to French class for three days a week, for three weeks now. He was even doing the homework, even if he had to Something Search the answers sometimes. Yeah, he was the oldest in the class, and that could be awkward sometimes, but Madame Caron always told him he was doing a good job. The French that they were learning wasn’t really that romantic, but anything sounded sexy with a French accent.

Tony had invited Gob to a dinner, since both of them had been busy lately, with Tony going on a mini-tour in the midwest and Gob secretly taking a community college course. When they met up at the restaurant, Tony embraced him without any hesitation. “Hey, babe,” he said, bringing a smile and a blush to Gob’s face.

“ _Bonjour_ ,” he said, as sauvely as he could. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“ _Bonjour_ to you, too.”

“ _Comment--euh….comment est-ce que le….euh...le tour?_ ”

“Did you become bilingual when I was away?”

“Euh...perhaps,” he said with his best French accent.

Tony chuckled. “So what’s the story here?”

“I’ve always, you know, wanted to be more...cultural,” Gob stammered.

“Gobie. Baby. You can barely pronounce _enchilada_ right.”

“Yeah, but I can say _croissant._ ”

The waitress came by, and Tony ordered some red wine for the both of them. “The red wine here is really good, babe.”

“I trust you,” Gob said. “ _Tu es...euh…._ shit, um, _tu es_ \--”

Tony laughed. “It’s okay. You seem like you’ve been working hard on this French thing.”

“Well. If I’m being honest, I wasn’t planning on taking French, but--”

Gob was cut off when the waitress came back with some red wine. They ordered some food, and when the waitress left Tony reached over the table to take Gob’s hand. “I missed you, babe. Sorry if I didn’t call a lot.”

Gob wasn’t sure anyone had ever missed him before. He smiled, looking down and chuckling softly. “I know you were busy. It’s fine.”

“Eh, the crowds in the midwest are lame. Not enough gay clubs. Like, I don’t think my brand really works there.”

“What do you think French people think of magicians? _Les magiciens?_ Or is it _illusionnistes…_ ”

“I dunno, they’re more into mimes, I think.”

Gob nodded thoughtfully. “You’re right…”

They continued to discuss everything and nothing over dinner, Gob occasionally throwing in a few French words. It always made Tony smile in a bemused by endeared sort of way.

“Wanna come back to my place?” Tony offered once the check had been paid.

“Of course.”

“But, you have to at least tell me why you’re suddenly taking French.”

Gob sighed. “Well. I saw this ad in the paper and I thought it said ‘improve your French skills’ as in _Frenching_ skills. Like French kissing? So I thought that would be a nice thing to impress you with. But then I realized it was like, actual French. And I had already paid to take the class, so…”

Tony laughed. “Jesus. That sounds just like you. I’m glad you want to impress me, though you don’t have to.”

“I don’t?”

“Of course not. But….it’s pretty hot that you know French now.”

Gob was internally giddy. “Oh, y’know. _C’est la vie._ ”

They walked out of the restaurant, hand in hand. “Do you know...hm, _je t’aime,_ I think it is?”

“Yeah,” Gob said, unable to hide how happy he was. “ _Je t’aime aussi._ ”

“When we get to my house, you can show me more of your French skills. Frenching skills.”

Gob was confused for a moment, but he quickly understood. “Oh. _Oh._ Good idea.”

“I know, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks again for letting me indulge myself lol xoxox also thanks to topher and will arnett multilingual king


End file.
